Re: Am i being selfish?

Luke Tue Aug 19, 2008 6:29 pm

My sister come down to see us agen my mate tells me he has to get rid of his new kitten he got last week i said ill have it mum and dad said no cos my sister wants it so there ya go once agen she gets EVERY thing she wants Fucking pisses me off

Luke Sat Jul 26, 2008 11:48 pm

Not talking to you no moor ami Pif told me you wont be long IM BORED leave me for a day grr

Luke Sat Jul 26, 2008 11:36 am

she was my 1st for alot of things 1st love 1st sexual partner 1st person to love me back and 1st proper gf im not a grate guy im what life calls a looser life will never get batter for me its ben shit for 21 years now

xxAmixx Sat Jul 26, 2008 10:24 am

It is because she was your first, well, everything? We all have soft spots for the ones we loved and for you the feeling is still frest.
They say time is a healer, and you need to trust in that, things WILL get better, the only way is up! Take things easy for a while, stop caring about anybody else apart from your self! What happens with Nikki happens, remember, everything occurs for a reason, life is testing you throwing you lemons to see how many you can catch, my advice? Drop the lemons and throw grapefruits back at life! You dont deserve this! trst me when all this is over, some one will notice you and want you, and to be quite honest, i wouldnt blame them either. Luke your a real great guy, Nikki is holding you back!

Luke Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:27 pm

ok what? lol i asked nikki to meat and talk to me face to face she will think about it i just want friends id love to get her back but that will never happen starting to wounder if she is my soul mate she is the only person to make me feal hole or is that just cos she is my 1st love?

im starting to feal like i not ment to be happy evrey time i get happy something puts me back down am i ment to be alown? maby im to never have kids or get marrid im only 21 and i can alredy feal my life sliping away all of my friends are in long turm relationships and engadged one is alredy marrid and another is haveing a baby my friends are all to busy for me now and i dont blame them but there are some that just want to hurt me back stab me and i dont no what iv done rong i keep asking my self the same thing what have i done to deserv this all you guys no about is with nikki but im hurting from other things 2 and people wonder why im depresed the thing we cant talk about is looking like a good idear i wont do it but i realy dont no how much moor shit i can take every 1 has a limit im at mine i think im going to loose my job if i don thats my hole life gone in 1 year i wont be able to take it all i ever wanted was to be loved

Lucy Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:20 pm

Destruction is hatred. Hatred is love. Love is a passion of these feelings.

xxAmixx Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:02 am

Fire, the bringer of destruction, the symbolism of chaos and war. Fire burns everything, bringing nothing but ruin. And yet, Prometheus risked the wrath of the Titans to bring fire to man. Fire banishes the darkness. Fire cleanses and purifies. Lastly, sometimes Love is spoken of as an eternal flame.

Yes, in a single respect fire does symbolise love but in most cases fire is the destroyer.

Lucy Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:40 pm

I upset Elena the other day.. I said to her AGES ago that when me and her met in August we would burn all our letters together. Then the other day I said:

"I don't want to burn your letters anymore because they don't deserve my five"

Fire = Red = Passion = Love. She understood what I was saying very well. That I didn't want anything to do with her, I didn't have the effort to do anything with her letters because they mean nothing to me.

xxAmixx Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:21 pm

Telling her how you feel woont change anything, have you ever tried wrighting a diary? I think yo should try that, wrute your feelings down in there and forget about them, or, you could write her a letter explaining everythng and then burn it before ginving it to her, that is ment to help alot physocologically.

Luke Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:10 pm

iv spent the day at work asking my self why do i love her and its clear she is the only person to ever make me happy i have lived a verry shadowed past and i have never realy been happy i was 1dt diagnosed deprsed at the age of 7 iv done self harming from the age of like 5 my hole life has been 1 twist adn in them 21 years iv only truly been happy for 2 of them when i was with her i can still rember the night we met i was meeting my mate adj with his gf from a drink on the beach she had 3 of her mates with her and nikki was 1 the second i layed eyes on her under the street lamp thought she was the most butiful person i had ever seen we went to the beach and i was laying on the pebbls evrey 1 was siting on a log i had soad playing from my phone i got chatting to tia and nikki joined in and the moor i got to no her the moor i started to like her but i told my self she was to good for me and as i felt my self likeing her i went for a walk to tell my self dont start likeing some 1 you cant have agne you will only get hurt i looved behind me and she had come to see if i was ok and we sat back with every 1 we started talking about music she had a sony bean mp3 player and we lisaned to ashtry girl by placebo then walked her home cos it was on way to mine got a text from her met up with her on the monday (2days later) and was meeting up with her evrey night that week we became realy good friends on the thurday she was babysiting her brother so i went up to help i sat there and she rest her head on my lap and i was so happy but i still cold not work out why she would like me and i put it down to being mates and thats all it would ever be she hinting in text for me to ask her out on saterday i tryed but the words would not come out so on sunday i 23rd of april i went to hers and at 3pm we was laying on her bed watching eastenders i asked her she sadi yes and i thought i was dreaming i had work at 4 the shif flew past i just wanted to go see her and now she is gone my life feals empty and worthlus

i dont no what to do i been thinking of sending her an email telling her about my fealings and just leting her no how i feal and to say good bye iv tryed geting her back and its no use she wont talk to me maby if i got my fealing off my cheast to her and let her go maby i can moov on what do you think?

xxAmixx Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:35 am

Just think to yourself luke, do you really love her? At the end of the day, love is something shared between two people, if the one you think you love dosent love you back, is what your feeling really true?
Your a great guy and your wasting your life on alll theses negative feelings, trust me luke, find a girl and talk to her for a while, one that your really into, youll forget about Nikki in no time! And youll make a potential girlfriend! You deserve it!

Luke Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:37 am

I dont no what to do i feal so alown and empty only time i feal happy and complet is when im with nikki and she wont talk to me i dont no how much moor i can take why is it hurting so much 4 months later have i let the beast thing in my life go? i should never have let her walk out the door i no she is out haveing fun enjoying her life but i cant no mater what i do she is still all i think of iv tryed not to but i just cant help it iv taken evreything that reminds me of her away and now the room in bear all i can do is sit here and wounder where it all went rong people tell me the only way is up i feal i have hit rock bottom and kept falling i just try to acsept that shes gone for ever and i just get moor empty evren whe she is talking to me like shit it makes me feal hole agen just cos she is talking to me is there something rong with me or is this world not ment for people like me ever trun is a new lo another obstical to climb i dont no how much of work i can take used to have a shit day and come home to nikki she be there smilying with a hug now i come home to no 1 my empty room in my perants house i dont think im ment to be happy

Luke Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:29 pm

im working on it lol

xxAmixx Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:21 pm

Lol yes luke your not a man for the simple reason men piss me of, you havent yet!

Luke Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:41 pm

sooooo dose that mean im not a man?

xxAmixx Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:11 am

Nah, so far you havent pissed me off enough.

Luke Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:32 pm

Dose that include me? Sad

xxAmixx Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:30 pm

Lol ok only selected men!

Luke Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:02 pm

that include me? Sad

xxAmixx Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:32 am

I hat me8 i hate men, men suck douchey men are twats, because i hate men i hate men la la la la la la la

xxAmixx Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:33 pm

hmm hes a poo! Hmm...i think ill E-mail him? ill send myaddy in a msg...

Luke Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:24 pm

sorry i tryed talking to him he jst yelled at me for talking to you about him lol add me to msn XD

xxAmixx Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:18 pm

I think jasons blocked me...

Luke Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:05 pm

Lucy do you have msn?

Lucy Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:00 pm

Ahaha.

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